So close to it all

Its funny how the most minuscule of things can have a huge impact on your whole well-being. Your whole day torn apart by the very thing that threatens to ruin your life. That threat has a name. An all-too familiar one. It latches on like a snag on your clothes when running through thick underbrush. The tear gets more and more pronounced with every hasty step. Little did you know that along with the snag came a gash that burns deep. It bleeds as you inch forward, looking for refuge. The world seems to cave-in on you but you won't let it. You think running away will take the pain away. Every so often stopping to cower under the largest shade you can find. I ran through there before. I run through there more times then i dare to count. In fact, i ran this morning. I woke up with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. The one thing I thought was perfect in every way turned out to be far from it. Hot tears drench my cheeks. I want to be where you are right now. I wish to walk with you, to feel the rain on my face as the Heavens open up. I can't run anymore. There is no point to it now. The brush gets thicker every time and it hurts me, physically and emotionally. Where is that rain tree we long to see? Where is that shelter we need so bad? Has it forsaken us already? We're trapped in black and white. Like a silent movie with the antagonists and protagonists dancing around a full moon in slow motion. I know you feel this as much as i do. Time seems to stand still for us now. Can you hear the background music rage on like a storm? A familiar beat that thumps as you place your hand to your chest. Its real this time my friend. There is no rewind button in this feature film. You had your chance to dance, to sing, to scream and now we must fade away into the night. Make the move before the credits start to roll. It isn't a dream sequence. Pinch yourself. We have no time to lose now. Nobody will care if that rain tree is cut down or withers away. No-one wants to claim responsibility for your heart breaking. Fingers point in every direction but never at 'self'. I get it now. Stop TRYING to hit me and hit me. Make your point now before i'm gone and the words you longed to say remain unsaid forever. I am here for you now. But i don't know how long for. I was this close to it all.