Silence

2 weeks.
Doesn't seem that long but for someone like me, it is.
For someone in my position, it surely is.

I'm thinking how did I get to be like this. I know I am far from being labeled normal but things were simpler before you walked in. Simpler in the sense, I never had to compact anything before. I am a wreck. I am not afraid to admit it. A wreck that probably no salvage crew in the entire world could put together, let alone pick up the debris. Just let me float away. Don't ask me why. I need it. I want it. Every time I close my eyes, I am transported to you. You sitting there without an inkling of what is going on in my head. You who has it all figured out but is oblivious to my pain. I am expandable, yes I know this. I am at your disposal, sadly. For the life of me, I find it hard, well, almost impossible, to let go. 12.47pm today, that emptiness I could sense. It wasn't the same as it was 2 days ago. It shook my very foundations. It hurts like hell. I don't know who to talk to, let alone find a kindred spirit. Nobody will understand me, I only expect ridicule for the steps I am taking. For the steps I am about to take.

Please don't judge me. Please don't hate me. I followed my heart. Till the very end, I gave it my all. So what if I got nothing in return. So what if you couldn't see me for the real me. I am who I am. A diamond in the ruff for someone, a thorn in the side for many. My heart aches. It always will.

Disconnected is what I am.