As I heard your favourite song and gazed upon your face in the picture book, I felt a lone tear run down my cheek and fall on your name etched on my heart. I hold on to my pillow tight and cry my heart out. I'm hurting inside and I realise my pain is real. You are coursing through my veins as I ponder an uncertain path ahead. You were always the first voice I heard when waking up and the last as I fell asleep. You understand me like no other before you and I wonder if you even know how messed up I am inside. I can't go on living like this knowing you are hundreds of miles away from me and out of reach. I long to hear your voice again and to tell you that my heart still beats hopelessly for you and you alone. My internal soundtrack keeps crying out to not count the miles but the I Love Yous. As the sun sets to end my day, the sun rises to welcome yours. My last words to you were, "When you miss me, just look up at the sky and know that we share the same view". Your last words before you flew out were, "Take care of yourself Michelle. I'll try my hardest to keep in touch but I can't guarantee anything". Even then I said not to forget me and said my final goodbye before you boarded your flight home. I am a broken person. A mere shadow of my former self. I cannot seem to say or do anything without the thought of you occupying every second of my day. I feel as if I've lost the will to go on. I only wanted to hold on to you for a bit longer but we both know how difficult our circumstances are.
"You make it real for me - James Morrison" - every word rings true as you always used to play it when we spoke. You give me a reason to live and to feel like a real woman.
I miss you so much every day and I love you with every beat of my heart. I only wish life wasn't so cruel to us both.
