O_O

Stress, getting to me.

Must. Get. Sleep.

.........................................

Bliss

Dear Disenchanted One,

I hereby grace your page with my useless ramblings. It has been a while since I had this priviledge so I'm trying to make the most of the time I have. I know things have been tough lately and I know it hasn't been easy dealing with the way toxic folk have treated you but I am here to tell you now that it will get better. Its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel from where you stand but trust me, the world will not end for you. In fact, you will learn from this experience and grow tougher, another layer of skin to shield the unwanted. I know I have seen my fair share of misery and pain yet I struggle on and hold on to the hope of a brighter future. Don't you want to walk barefoot on a summers day in the park?? Oh how beautiful it would be to feel the sun on your face, to see the innocent play, to feel the rush of wind through your hair as you close your eyes and savor it all. I know it paints a pretty picture but you haven't lived until you've tried this. It makes you feel alive! The world is a wonderful place if you would only allow yourself to see it. Do you remember what it was like as a child growing up? The freedom and carelessness of youth. The wonderful aromas of a family picnic. You can still have it all! Its not too late for you, for us! Hold my hand now as I take you to the other side of life. A side where you fear nothing but the shackles of old age, even that you will wear gracefully. Lets go now! Are you ready?

:(

Feeling very afraid at this moment. Can't sleep and its after 1am. My chest feels tight, I can't explain the fear I have. Its frustrating enough to make me lose my mind. I don't know what to do right now. Someone help me please!

Facebook

I did it. I finally did it. Pulled myself off Facebook. Feels kinda weird coz I thought it wouldn't be possible, especially in this day and age. Gosh, it took too much of my time and now I really regret ever signing up. But then again, there is that certain attraction to it that might possibly drag me back....then again, you never know eh! So yeah, another day almost gone. I should probably start one of those Dear Diary things next. Could be fun, a whole new light. Something off the beaten track as I always seem to wana venture in the dark coz I am that damn bored. Why is it that I feel this way?? Arghhh crap. To hell with this entry, I'm off to bed. Laters!

Go!

Adrenaline.....coursing through my veins. I'm running into nothing, its almost crazy! An invisible wall for a junkie. High on life, nah must be V or something. Just doesn't feel the same anymore. I wana run, just keep running...not feeling the pain, crashing into you, going to extremes and still not feeling the pain.

Another way out

Alas, it seems like only yesterday when I had the urge to do the impossible. The urge to cross that imaginary line towards a new frontier. Nobody sees it but me. I feel it. How I wish I knew all that back then. sadly it had to be this way. Random ramblings from a disenchanted soul. I know it makes no sense to you but then again, it wasn't supposed to. I am who I am and what I write matters only to me, and no other. Thoughts that linger when I'm alone in the dark. The world that spins around in my mind when nobody bothers to ask how I feel. It is remarkable in here. You should take a trip in my mind someday. I am certain you will leave a little less-thrilled because it isn't for a the faint-hearted. Did I scare you? Good! That was the point of it all. Until the next one............

Dear Anne.

I now proceed to list a selection of books that I find fulfilling enough to read. I avoid romance like the plague. I despise it, hate it. It brings no satisfaction to me in any form nor manner. Like a broken record, it spins over and over the same tunes, time and time again. There is no creativity, nothing to keep me fixated on. I move my focus towards authors like Michael Crichton of the Eaters of the Dead fame (one of my all-time faves), the Hannibal series, Jeffrey Archers short stories, Bram Stokers Dracula and of course my personal favorite and the light of my life, Anne Rice and ALL her written works. I am an avid collector of her Vampire Chronicles and am slowly coming to completion, after which I will proceed to read each and every one of them. She has, by far, the vision and the flare for pure perfection then any author I have had the priviledge to know. Her works are timeless, like the creatures of magnificence she portrays ever so beautifully. I admire her art, her resiliency and her ability to adapt to any theme or storyline. It takes skill and an eye for detail to be close to being compared to Anne Rice. She has a true gift of bringing light on subjects that were previously considered lost or taboo. Anne's research is in-depth and flawless, her writing style to be commended, her knowledge of the ancient world effortless and the way she is able to place her readers in a completely fantastical world is pure genius. I take my hat off to her and she will remain the Number 1 author for as long as I live.